THE SCOTSMAN   (by Bryan Bowers)


Well, a Scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evening fair.
    And one could tell by how he walked that he'd drunk more then his share.
He fumbled 'round until he could no longer keep his feet.
    Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.

    REFRAIN:  Ring-ding-diddle-iddle-i-de-oh, ring-di-diddle-e-i-oh
             (repeat last line of previous stanza)

About that time, two young and lovely girls just happened by.
    One says to the other with a twinkle in her eye,
"See yon sleeping Scotsman, so strong and handsome built,
    I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath their kilt."

    REFRAIN

They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as can be.
    Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see.
And there behold for them to view, beneath his scottish skirt
    Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth.

    REFRAIN

They marveled for a moment, then one said "We must be gone.
    Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along."
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow
    Around the bonnie star the Scots kilt did lift and show.

    REFRAIN

Now the scotsman woke to nature's call, and stumbled toward the trees.
    Behind the bush he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees.
And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes
    "Oh, lad, I don't know where you've been but I see you've won first prize."

    REFRAIN